I’m going to be rocking a version of the uniform previously mentioned—with a twist. Could it get worse? You bet your ass. Ask any woman what style of pants do the most damage to exacerbate their body flaws and I think you’ll likely hear, "tapered, pleated-front, and khaki." Oh yes. Feast your eyes on these choices for a cold weather climate:
The web belt ala the Boy Scouts is required. The black shoes, baby I bought myself some unfashionable Reebok Princess sneakers. Between the costumes worn by a legion of cruise staff females before me, with their rank sweat and questionable stains, and my own super sweet uniforms, I’m going to be beating the waiters and bar staff off with a stick. It’s going to be a great six months!
Task Number One: Flirt and make eyes at both the Bar Manager and the Food and Beverage Manager. Free drinks are a moral imperative.
6 comments:
As one of the two loyal readers, I can't wait for the tales from the high seas - especially the ones involving sex - I have to get my kicks from somewhere
omg - those trousers look kinda slack like and pleats, oh how my hips detest pleats...
*shudder*
Yeah, well, today I got the horror-inducing moment where I figured out what size to order those "slacks" in. According to the Matrix I was small on top (quelle surprise), my hip measurement said that I'd be a medium...and my waist apparently was extra large. I'm not ordering fucking extra large...I refuse to believe their measurements for the waist are accurate reflections of the sizes...
theres no way you are extra large!
Do they need nurses on these cruise ships? I could do with escaping
X-Large??
heh heh... fatty.
You keep that up, Brian, and you get no Alaskan souvenirs or drunken photos.
I want Alaskan souvenirs and drunken photos too!
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